By: Wendy S. Marcus
In my house, gone are the days I bundle up my cherubs prior to them leaving for school on a cold winter morning. There is no hustling to find a missing glove or a favorite hat, no arguments over hat head and static hair. Why? Because my children, ages 13, 16, and 19 refuse to wear winter jackets or any other warm protective outerwear! It was -11 degrees F this morning and, as if wearing even a hat and gloves may expose some sort of weakness, my son ran for the bus wearing a T-shirt, thermal shirt, and sweatshirt. And it’s not only him. Drive by my son’s high school and you’ll be hard-pressed to find one of his schoolmates wearing a jacket. And yet dozens of catalogs offering junior-sized winter coats clog my mailbox each winter season. Who is their client base, I wonder? How does the teenage coat-making industry remain afloat?
Back in the day, my mother would not allow me to leave the house without a jacket. Does it make me a bad mommy for taking on the philosophy: They’re old enough to make their own decisions. If they get cold enough, they’ll put on a coat?
It worked for a few days. Then the sub zero temperatures arrived. I fought with my daughter to put on a coat…like a good mommy should…before bad mommy took over and said, “Fine. Do what you want. But don’t blame me when you come down with pneumonia!” Then I stood at the front window watching my daughter out at the bus stop, counting the minutes until the bus arrived, imagining her shivering, icicles dangling from her nose and the corners of her eyes, her systems slowly shutting down due to hypothermia. I have driven her to the bus stop each day since.
So how do you handle it when your teenagers refuse to wear coats, even on the coldest of days? Even when recovering from strep throat? I’m afraid if I tell my son to put on a coat or don’t leave the house, he’ll log on to his Xbox and never come out of his room!!! If I try it with my daughter she’ll be more than happy to stay home and “keep me company” in my office…All…Day…Long.
This is my first official post on the 4 Bad Mommies blog! Very exciting. I’m just checking things out to make sure the comments link is working!
Hi Wendy, I would have done the same thing! My kids rip off their hats all the times and the little one has tantrums but they are still young enough for me to tell them what to do! Just remember, you can force them to wear the coat and hat out the door, but they’d just take it off right outside and dump it somewhere! Guess we are stuck. With them at home, or outside freezing. Welcome to mommyhood.
LOL, Wendy! Good to know I’m not alone. My twelve year old son dashes off to school everyday in a sweatshirt – regardless of the frigid South Dakota temps. I whine a little and then I let him go. The mantra “he’ll eventually learn” actually worked a couple of times. But then summer wipes his memory clean and I start over EVERY winter!
Hi Jen!
Each stage has its good and bad. I remember reading one of your posts about bundling your boys up to go outside to play and was thankful I didn’t have to deal with that anymore!
Hi Amy!
Does this mean your home from Alaska? I’m guessing your South Dakota winters are colder than our NY winters, although lately we’ve had a few -10 degree mornings. I am happy to report my son DID wear his winter jacket to walk the dog this afternoon and has it on now while he is out shoveling part of the driveway.
It’s not just teenagers!
Hi Wendy, Scotland has just had one of the coldest winters on record with temperatures down to -20. My children – 10 and 6 seem to be unaffected. When I go to pick them up from school when the bell rings just about every child races outside with hats, scarves, and winter jackets all in their hands trailing behind them. They then dump these items on their parents and continue to run around unaffected by the weather.
The parents meantime are standing in the playground in their “sleeping bag” like coats and shivering!
Sometimes I wish I was five again…
Great blog, I sighed and laughed because teenagers really are a law unto themselves aren’t they. My teen set off to school an hour ago in his uniform and a sweater over the top, no coat in sight. Daughter was slightly better although her jacket was still way too thin. Youngest loves hats, gloves, scarves etc. and wears as many as he can every day. However when you pick him up, as Susan says, he dumps the lot on you and runs off to play!
Hi Susan!
I honestly did not have a problem with the ‘winter jacket issue’ until my two oldest entered high school. The youngest follows the older two so she started giving me trouble this year (8th grade).
And I purchased my “sleeping bag” jacket, which I refer to as my “Nanook of the North coat”, years ago for all the hours I spent at the bus stop when my children were too young to wait by themselves. Then of course my neighbor and I would spend an extra hour outside chatting after the bus came, but that’s another story!!!
Hi Joanne!
Yes, teenagers really are a law unto themselves. I once saw a sign that read: RAISING TEENAGERS IS LIKE TRYING TO NAIL JELLO TO THE WALL. I think that about sums it up!!!
How do your children feel about wearing uniforms to school? They talked about it in my school district and people went absolutely nuts. Needless to say, they dropped it.
Count your blessings and start saving. The phase may not last. I’m forever shelling out on coats that cost a fortune only for it to be ‘lost’ and recycled by one of their friends. I’m told what goes around comes around – so when can I look forward to the return of my daughter’s full red russian coat. The short black swing one, she ‘acquired’ doesn’t fit quiet as neatly.
Hi Lindsey!
That drives me absolutely nuts when my children trade or give away things they no longer want without asking or even telling me. Not coats, but jewelery or full sets of trading cards or video games I PAID FOR. What is up with that???
Your daughter’s full red russian coat sounds beautiful! I don’t think I’d have been near as accepting of the loss as you seem to be. I probably would have headed to the mall, tagged along when my daughter went to the movies with friends, hung around the school parking lot. I would have found out who had that coat and brought it home! Make sure you tell your daughter how lucky she is to have you…and not me…for a mother!!!
I used to insist my kids wore coats to school on cold days, but then I finally wised up. They drive themselves. They were wearing the coats out my door and taking them off again before they even got in their truck for the drive to school. And they weren’t poutting them back on again.
Why? I asked one day after finding a mound of coats on the back seat. Why, won’t you and your brother wear a coat?
“Because,” my daughter answered in that voice that tells me she thinks I’ve had a lobotomy, “there’s no room for it in my locker and I don’t want to haul it around all day with all my books, which I haven’t got room to put in my locker either.”
So here’s my question. If she hasn’t got room for books or her coat, what exactly does she have in her locker?