I’m a big proponent on living in the moment, and seizing each opportunity to fully appreciate the event taking place. Lately, as life has exploded on a pleasant scale, I realized I am skimming past instead of delving deep in many ways with my kids.
Lately, work has been pulling at me in a good way. I’m driven to write and create, but find the hours few and far between when I can delve into my projects without many interruptions. I’m craving hours on end of peace to satisfy the inner voices.
Yeah, right. I have two kids.
So, instead I grab moments but found there is always a sacrifice. I’m fortunate to finally be at home with my children, and viewed this as an opportunity to do more quality things with them. Instead, I find our time gained more quantity but lessened the quality! I am on beck and call throughout the hours for lunch, drinks, playtime, questions, and changing the channel. I rush back and forth for pick ups and drop offs. I clean up after them, cook, and yell more, in between wrestling time for my work.
By the end of the day, I’m disappointed I did not get to read to them for a full hour nonstop, or put more thought into their homework, or linger on conversations. Almost as if they sense the worst times in the world, I collapse on the chair after a long day, and my older one crawls on my lap and asks me to read him a story.
“Now?” I whine. “I don’t want to! I’m tired!” – yes, that was me, not him.
Yesterday, with the sun shining and spring dancing in the air, I pushed my little one in the swing and took a few moments to breathe. How wonderful! The sound of children playing, the low hum of the swing rushing back and forth, the screams of laughter echoing in the air as they ran around in glee, everything fell back around me and I remembered this was one of the best parts of being a mother. Grabbing that tiny moment of joy with our kids.
But it’s fleeting. More fleeting than I remember, especially as they grow. I’m beginning to learn that it’s also ok. We can’t be fully engaged and happily present each moment – it’s impossible. Instead, I praise myself for the minutes I enjoy a conversation with my kids, or a book, or a push in the swing. Like my work, I may crave long uninterrupted quality time we both enjoy, but I will be grateful for just a few minutes.
Skimming the surface is acceptable to breathe, as long as we occasionally dive deep and unearth the mysteries below.
How do you feel about grabbing moments with your children? Is it a struggle for quality time? Come by and share your thoughts – hit the number at the top of the post to comment!
A HUGE struggle for me, Jen. It took me a long time to just be present in the moment. At work I was distracted by worries about my kids. At home I was distracted by my worries at work. It takes real effort to learn how to switch everything off and totally engage. It’s a process I’m still trying to master.
Hugs, Hun. Your kids are blessed to have you as a mom.
I also had to let go of trying to be everything to everyone all at once. Sometimes it’s good to go deep, and sometimes it’s good to skim. no one should expect themselves to go deep all day, every day.
Plus, sometimes it’s good to just sit on the couch and watch On Demand movies!
I am guilty of not grabbing the moments sometimes. Although I try to be “that” laid back mom, I confess sometimes I am mentally busy. I am always thinking, wondering, and planning stuff in my head. So I may not be physically obligated my mind is elsewhere. {sigh} I need to do better. That brain of mind just needs to take the day off! Well……….. maybe not. lol
How do I feel about grabbing moments with my “tween” who is as independent a spirit as her mother most of the time? I cherish them. We have our ways of spending time together and I’ll make up new ways as she gets more and more like a teenager. She has this “knowing” of when I need a hug, which has been her way since she was young. And when I say I need one, she grants me one that feels as sweet as she smelled as an infant. Know that feeling and that scent?
My awareness of how being present is what it is all about has turned me into a “carpe diem” kind of mom who as a self-employed soul works more than is wise…who chooses not to feel guilty anymore!
Appreciate your post…