I have been following 4badmommies for quite some time and I relate so much to all of their posts. I am truly appreciative for this opportunity, I feel like a mom celebrity. I can only hope that I can live up to the bad mommie standard. BUT I must warn you I might have exceeded it!
I am the mother of one four year old boy. If you don’t have children this probably sounds pretty easy, right? I. Don’t. Think. So.
And if you do have children you are probably already shaking your head because you know being a parent is tough. Of course it is worth it and I love my son dearly. I consider myself blessed to have a child. BUT let me tell you there are some days that I absolutely earn my “alleged” bad mommy title and you know what, I feel good about it.
Don’t judge me! At least wait until you review the evidence.
My son was notorious for picking things up at the grocery store and putting them in the cart. Well, I put a stop to that! I put those busy hands to work, I placed a canned good in each one. Took care of that problem, he can’t worry about sugary treats while carrying green beans and corn.
Sure my son has no idea that French toast taste better with syrup. Why? Because I refuse to load my son with sugar so I have to watch him bounce off the wall in the morning. I don’t think so! My mother in law tried to introduce him to syrup on French toast over the holidays, I thought I was gonna have to take her down! Luckily, my son was distracted and I was able to abort my mother in law’s mission.
Yes, I give my son dessert an hour or so before dinner. Why? Didn’t you read the previous statements regarding the sugar. If I don’t want him bouncing around early in the morning I definitely don’t want him bouncing around close to my bedtime. I mean his bedtime.
My son is an absolute artist!! At school he makes awesome pictures and crafts. I am actually quite proud of them. BUT I must confess, glitter is banded from our home. NO GLITTER in the house. And of course, he loves glitter, I told you he is an artist! So instead of leaving the glitter pictures at school with hopes they will get lost, I put leave in the car for days, sometimes months! Then suddenly they disappear. Woosh!
Well, I thought this was working until one day at school he brings a piece of art work over and says mom here is another picture for you to throw in the trash. {sigh}
I may need to rethink that plan. Suggestions welcome.
With all the gadgets that he now wants to play there is always something that needs batteries. And the batteries don’t just pop in and out; you gotta unscrew here, twist there, slide to the right, screw back in, and sometimes repeat because you put them in backwards. I solved that little issue, from now on only daddy knows how to change batteries. Easy fix.
Still here? I didn’t scare you off did I?
Oh good. Because before I go I must I leave you with one of my proudest bad mommy moments.
One morning my son walked by and accidently bumped into me below the waist. He says mommy sorry I didn’t mean to bump your penis. I respond, Mommy doesn’t have a penis. My son starts to laugh hysterically and says are you kidding me?
And I did the only thing I knew to do at that moment, I burst into laughter too!
(Okay, for the record I did correct him later on…….still not sure if he 100% believes me or not yet. That is a post for another day.)
Thank you, my dear friend, for sharing the truth! (Hearing Jack Nicholson yell: You can’t handle the truth!) Yikes, I’m digressing again. Please, my wonderful peeps, check out her awesome site: Life is Hard, Laugh Anyway.
She also highly encourages stalking and is a great Twitter friend! Follow her here
Leave her some love and hit the number at the top of the post to comment!
Are you a bad mama jamma lol. Nothing wrong with being a bad mommy it’s the good ones I worry about. Great post
HI Kita! That is SO very true! If you THINK you are a perfect momma, chances are you are probably missing something! Thanks so much for a great guest post Latorsha!!
I agree with kita.. it’s the good ones I’d be suspicious about
I have yet to introduce my son to glitter!.. as it is, I don’t buy my kids any toys that have small parts because I hate seeing tiny things on the floor, so glitter would drive me nuts.
Great post, Optimistic Mom! Thank you for your wonderful guest blog!
After three children, glitter was the least of my worries! Wait until your son gets into sand art!!! (Not sure if that’s more a girl thing, though.) Parents actually give sand art gifts as birthday presents! Which isn’t so bad…until your child wants to play with it. Which I put off as long as possible (and how the heck did she see the box I put up on the highest shelf in her closet, all the way in the back? Should have put a towel over it!) Then…only on the kitchen floor. And I seal them with wax. Oy! Thank goodness my daughters are out of that phase!
Oh…and daddy is the only one who can change batteries in my house, too!
Soo funny!! People gave them the playdough sets and I found it everywhere. Hid them in the basement and both boys were always asking for it! And I throw away the craft projects too – my newest addition in prek was a bird feeder. With lots of seeds and a bagel everywhere and my little one was so proud he made me hang it up right outside! Floor was covered.
I love this! It’s definitely ok to be a bad mother.
Everybody has these moments…good stuff.
Argh…playdough is another nightmare!
This is awesome! I’m a bad mommy too – I tell my daughter I am going to throw away anything she doesn’t pick up… and tears do not deter me! O_o
“Here, Mommy. Another picture for you to throw in the trash.”
LOL. OMG, Optimistic mom, that is SO my style. When they got older, my kids were stunned to learn other mothers kept their children’s artwork in all sorts of fantastically organized ways.
As I’ve stated before: I’ll store their birth certificate and their high school diploma. I take no responsibility for anything that comes in between.
Thanks so much, Optimistic Mom, for this most EXCELLENT post! You are definitely deserving of the bad mommy crown (and I mean that in a GOOD way, of course;)
Haha, you are one bad mama
I agree with Wendy, playdoh is another problem. I need to shampoo my carpet now because of it. Thinking of banning it.
I’m a bad mommy to. I’m not ashamed to say so!
He will now probably start sharing that you no longer have a penis with people in the grocery store … he may even think you threw it in the trash
LOL @ Nicole! You never know with a 4 year old!
Thanks everyone for reading and for your support. And Wendy, I will be on the look out for that sand art!! It will never make it in the house, it is now on the list! We do have a playdough set, which is pushing it….but we keep it in a special play area.
It’s great to see so many new bad mommies! Welcome!
Welcome! And you know if you’re here – you’re really not a bad mommy…just trying the best you can!! Great comments guys!
I enjoyed reading this!! Add my name to the roster of bad mommies —
Omg! This was so funny! I thought the one about the art disappearing was cute.
my my my…i’m not sure where to start..might be a good idea to stop laughing first! what’s up with the grandparents trying to go against our ‘bad mommy’ policies?! no syrup means no syrup..period! and one last thing – are you SURE you don’t have a penis?!
Patrice, it’s official! You made the roster LOL. Lucky you!
journeekapri – that one was my favorite too!
LOL, Miss Donna. I think the grandparent thing is payback for having to raise us