Enjoy every precious moment, because they will grow up sooner than you think….
How many mothers have heard this line from moms with older kids? First off, I agree completely with the statement. I am already in mourning over my youngest son’s upcoming birthday of 5, which breaks my heart. I can’t imagine them not little. But then there are other times, when stress is attacking you from every level, and you’re dealing with demands nonstop, and you longe briefly for them to be old enough JUST TO LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A MINUTE!
This happened to me recently. I was shopping, and I had already warned my boys they were going to get NOTHING from the store. It was in and out to buy a few necessary purchases. This was not a fun trip. After many minutes drilling this into their heads, we shopped and I got near the checkout. Of course, the impulse buys are right there in your face. DVD’s. And toys. Crap. I try to distract them, but of course they both target something they want more than life itself. And so…it begins…
“Mommy, look at this! Isn’t this amazing?” my older one screams. It’s a plastic microphone that lights up. Yeah. Quite amazing.
“Yes, honey. OK, put it back now.”
The little one comes out with a small Batman figurine. “Oh. My. God,” he says. Mr. Drama’s eyes widen. “I cannot believe it. It’s Batman from the Brave and the Bold mommy!”
“Yes,” I say calmly. “And you have one of those at home.”
His gaze snaps up in dismay. “Do not! This one has a sword! I don’t have a sword!”
“Put it on your Christmas list.” I push the cart forward and pray for speed.
“But Christmas is sooooo long away,” he groans.
“You can do jobs for that.” The job thing has been working really, really well and this usually soothes him. Not today.
The stormy expression comes over his face. The lower lip trembles. And so it begins.
“Mommy, please, I want it!”
An older woman glances at me and fights a smile. I roll my eyes and begin my pleading and bargaining. Today, it’s just not enough. He begins to cry.
My patience explodes. I rip the toy away, throw him in the cart, and mutter under my breath about ungrateful brats who get everything they want and would DARE to act spoiled in a store in public when I had this long discussion with them in the first place. He immediately senses my anger and starts screaming and weeping openly. My older one usually takes this opportunity to point out how good he is compared to his older brother, but for some wacky reason he starts weeping too and begging for the frikkin plastic microphone.
In the middle of packing up my stuff, dealing with cranky kids who I want to temporarily kill, this older woman takes this point to walk over and shake her head, as if she could not understand why I was so mad my children were acting like horrific whiney brats.
“You know, “ she clucks, “you should enjoy every precious moment, they grow up so fast.”
My eyes widened. Are you kidding me? At this moment, I can’t WAIT till they grow up and can slam the door behind them and at least leave me in peace! I nodded, agreed, and raced out.
Yes, I enjoy my children. Am crazy about them. But sometimes, I need a break. A large one. Of course, I spent one of these past days at a spa with a girlfriend, which was my long overdue birthday gift from my husband. When I asked the massage therapist why the bone in my neck moved, she informed me it was such a large muscle knot she’d need more sessions to work it out. OH. Anyway, I get home from an amazing day, relaxed, and my husband shoots out for an evening with his buddies since we trade off time a lot. I figured my kids would chill with a DVD and I’d get to cuddle up with a Lifetime movie for the close of a perfect day.
Not.
My little one immediately attached himself to me. And wanted to read 12 of his Batman books. They came in a pack, and he needs to read all of them at once. He then moved on to a million of his other books, and begged me to play Zingo.
Guilt attacked me for actually being away from him for the day, so I promised I’d play a quick game and then I needed to be left alone so he can go to bed.
Zingo became an hour fest because I wasn’t playing with just him. I was playing with his stuffed Panda bear, his stuffed puppy, and his dinosaur. So, I had to wait while his three stuffed animals got their turn with their cards, and it took FOREVER to finish that game until I wanted to weep with frustration and I knew the knot was back in my neck.
In closing, I realized I am not alone. We adore our children when they are little, but sometimes we need to get the hell away from them.
This morning, my son’s pre-k was holding a Thanksgiving feast. I brought in supplies and stood around with some other moms, looking a bit apprehensive. No one wanted to ask, so I finally did. “Umm, do parents have to stay?” I asked tentatively. The teacher smiled brightly. “Only if they want to!” she chirped. “Parents are welcome if they want to help with the feast!”
I paused. Then said, “NO, thanks, I’ll pick him up regular time.”
I flew out the door and suddenly was flocked by three other moms on my heels, running like smoke drifted from their heels. I burst out laughing at the image, and one of the moms laughed with me.
“Hell, no, I don’t want to stay!” she said. “I have two lousy hours before I have to come back and have a million things to do! Bad mommy.”
“Yep,” I said, feeling SO much better. “Me, too. Bad mommy.”
We raced to our cars and pealed out of the lot, clocking in how many minutes left of our freedom.
Yes, they are precious. Yes, we love them little. Yes, we treasure the moments.
But not all the time.
And I think that’s ok too.
Have you had any of these experiences with your children? Don’t leave me hanging! Drop me a comment, please, and share. Hit the number at the top of the post.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!
Occasionally we need to get away from our kids – otherwise, how would we ever realize how much we miss them?
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi Jen!
I think this is your best post yet! You are hysterical!!! And since I know you personally I can actually picture these conversations with your kids and your reactions. Sorry, but I really enjoyed the visualization.
Sadly I agree with the older woman. They do grow up so fast. And you don’t realize the time is flying by until you’re helping your son fill out his college applications or attending the last high school soccer game he’ll ever play or you look at the calendar and realize he’ll be leaving you in 9 short months.
Hi Jen,
Moms fleeing the building with glee and then pealing out of the parking lot joyfully childless has me laughing my head off. I think every mother has felt like that!
But like Wendy I have a second one about to fly the nest. I spent all day today helping him with college essays and I admit all day long I had that “where did the time go” feeling. He’s not a little boy anymore. *sniff, sniff*
Hi my 4badmommy crew! First off, I am very glad you got a kick out of the post. I think it is even funnier as some time passes because in the moment it’s sometimes overwhelming! The idea of my boys in college is like Twilight Zone material, so I understand exactly what you are saying. I used to think I’d never get past bottles and diapers, but it does pass, and looking back, passes so much faster than you can believe. So, now that I am calm, I will take your advice and a deep breath and enjoy every moment of those 12 Batman books. I must admit, Batman is kind of hot anyway so it’s not that bad. Happy Thanksgiving my wonderful friends! You have no idea how much gratitude I feel for having you in my life and keeping me sane!
This from Twitter:
tinaevaughn Tina Vaughn
@ Hilarious because it’s true! I have moments like this. : )
And this from Twitter:
EyeRollDiaries The Eye Roll Diaries
@ @4badmommies , then they will be teenagers. then you will need wine via an I.V.!
I’m tearing up reading this! I always get great pleasure reading the 4 of you but I think I needed to read this today more than ever! It’s so reassuring to know I’m not alone!
I love my DD to pieces but she’s taken a small piece of my sanity! I guess she can store it the large piece of my heart she’s also taken!
Thank you!!
This from Twitter:
AnOptimisticMom Latorsha
@jenniferprobst @4badmommies enjoyed the blog post!!
OMG, Jen, we must have two sets of twins separated at birth!
“My older one usually takes this opportunity to point out how good he is compared to his older brother” My 9yo does this all the time now. He couldn’t possibly be involved in the mess his little brother made. Of course not.
The store scenario happens to me all the time. It’s okay to get upset w/ them. I don’t understand why they don’t listen.
Right now, I’m dealing with my 6yo having to have whatever his older brother gets. Christmas shopping is getting precarious. I can’t possibly buy 2 of everything. Well, we might be able to swing it, but I won’t do it. I will have to ensure they have an equal number of presents under the tree! Santa, do you hear me?
Abbi
A big hello to Tina, EyerollDiaries, and Optimistic Mom from Twitter – one of my all time favorite places to hang out!
Kelly, I so agree! We need to laugh because sometimes it’s just too much, so that is why we are all here to support each other. The majority of the time though, it is sheer heaven to love and be loved by our gorgeous children. I wish you and your family and really great Thanksgiving. And promise to come by and share your stories over the holiday -there should be some doozies!
HI Abbi! I know, every time you talk about your boys I feel like you are talking about mine!! And God, yes, I am a mess for Christmas. If everything is not even someone will be crying Christmas morning, as ridiculous as it sounds! Thanks for the support on the store – my kids are relatively good but when they are bad – they are horrid!!!
Loved this. I so know this feeling. I have a group of girlfriends that all say, “You know, we used to be women. Now we are just wives and mothers.”
We started six years ago having a mother’s day out every few months. Just a day where we eat without having to share our food, drink whatever we want and see a movie that is not animated.
One woman, who we have asked repeatedly to join us, refuses because she works full time (so do all but one of the rest of us) and feels guilty if she spends a day away from her FOUR children. The woman in our group who is closest to her pointed out one day, “I just can’t get it through her head that I am a much BETTER mommy after I have been away for the day!”
Hi Dawn! And Welcome!
I was one of those mom’s who worked full time and felt guilty about leaving her children. Now that my children are growing up and leaving, I wish I’d put more effort into cultivating local friendships and nights out with the girls!
Kudos to you for realizing how important this is!