I’ve noticed something new with my little one. He has become demanding. And completely unaware of money.
Now, I realize when I was young I didn’t grasp the concept of money much either, but I grew up kind of on the poor side. Sure, we had shelter and food on the table – but there was never disposable income for anything extra. I went to the library for my books. I only received toys on birthdays and Christmas. And there was only something special to eat if we had a coupon. Nothing tragic there -I never think of myself as deprived. Sure, I had wanted lessons in tennis, and dance, but I learned how to work hard for the things I want so it built character.
Along the way, I never set out to spoil my kids. We don’t have tons of money either, but I noticed I am more of a free flowing type of mom. I put quarters in the little merry go round machines at the mall. I let them pick out movies from Redbox and Netflix, gifts from the dollar store, and pretty much anything they want at the supermarket. I take them to McDonalds for happy meals. I never buy them expensive toys, but will occasionally surprise them with little things because it makes me happy.
But lately, my little one has been demanding toys. Then throwing fits if he doesn’t get them.
This shocked me. My son is not a spoiled brat, but he certainly started acting like one. And I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I lectured him. Let him have the tantrum. I didn’t buy what he wanted. But his obsession with superheroes short charged his brain until he became crazed and begged daily for STUFF.
Finally, at my wits end, I sat him down and had a talk. I explained if he didn’t want to wait for Christmas, he’d need to EARN the money. I set out the rules this way. I would give him one dollar for every job he did around the house that I assigned to him. If he did it right, when he completed the jobs to equal the price of the toy, I would then take him to the store and buy them.
I must admit, I was surprised it worked. My son became eager to work for his toys, and haunted me for jobs to do around the house. When I gave him one, he completed the job without complaints, and was excited when I inspectedt. His brother tried to mess up the room he spent an hour cleaning once, and all I heard was my little tyrant yelling at his older brother, “Do not take out any toys from this room! I just cleaned it!”
Priceless.
He’d been targeted on obtaining Mr. Freeze to battle his Batman. It was six dollars. Last week, he completed his sixth job and I informed him we were going to the store to buy it. He shook with excitement, and when we came out with Mr. Freeze, the joy on his face was priceless.
Score.
Of course, my triumph didn’t take long to fall apart.
I heard the boys talking in their room, and my younger one was warning his brother not to mess up the room. The older one then said,
“Don’t worry. We’ll mess up the room, and then you’ll get to clean it up and get another dollar!”
Then his brother said, “Yeah!”
I burst into the room and explained the process did not work that way. But the looks on their faces told me they weren’t listening. They had found the weakness in my plan and would push through the fragile crack until the wall crumbled.
Welcome to motherhood.
Have you had to develop any new rules or initiatives in your house? What’s succeeded? What’s failed?
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My friends and I had a conversation awhile back that kids do expect more “stuff”, but as we talked we realized we give them “stuff” early on just because. Seriously, from birth we fill them up with toys and other misc stuff just because, right? So as they get older (like my 4 year old) they come to expect a certain level of generosity, just because.
It is crazy how parenthood works!! Just when we think we are in control…..lol
Are you writing about my child? Obviously not but it sounds like they may all be the same.
We also implemented the ‘earning’ rule and had good success but the she wanted $ for common things like putting her dishes in the sink. We’re now thinking about a weekly allowance. So if she helps out around the house each week just in general she will get her allowance.
She can save for the things she wants.
Raising boys who are both industrious (willing to work for their toys) and pro-actively entrepreneurial (finding new ways to create a market for their services)?
lol! You’re doing a good job mom!
Yes, Optimistic Mom, I totally agree. I don’t remember having so much stuff. Just books, records, big toys. My boys clamor for every McDonald toy they see, and I have baskets of little trinkets. It’s def a whole new world in parenting!
HI Kelly! Oh, thank goodness, we share the same child! Always makes me feel better – lol. I think you had a fantastic idea and the older they get, the more they appreciate picking out their own stuff. We just have to keep being creative!
HI Regina! As usual, you always make me feel so much better!!!
I’m jealous that your children actually do the work. Mine refused and I’m a bad mommy. I often gave in just to keep the peace. My husband is a fellow spoiled brat and never had any cool toys growing up, so he tends to give stuff to our boys just because he can. lol
Too funny that they’re now scheming on you though. lol
Well loved…definitely! I think your plan was terrific! Good Mommy!!! And the key is…you said you have to assign him the jobs for him to earn the dollar. Tell them if they mess up the room on purpose that will no longer be one of the chores he can use to earn money!!! Less available chores means it will take longer for him to earn money for his toys. You always have to be one step ahead!
HI Joanne! Trust me, this is a new thing that I am hoping will last. The older one still won’t clean up and he doesn’t care about getting money for jobs – lol. He’ll just wait for Christmas and be lazy!!!
Thanks, Wendy, I so agree part of the mommy job description is anticipating all obstacles in your opponents – um – children.
Hi, Jennifer! You did a great job w/ that. I can’t even get my oldest to clean for money. My youngest will and he does throw tantrums for toys. But, I tell him a tantrum will not get him the toy. He’s learned if you wants something, he has to earn it w/ good behavior or his own money.
Those tantrums are a killer, too!
Abbi
Great post, Jen! There will always be a catch, but I think you’re doing a great job! This summer my son learned the value of a dollar and that he doesn’t want to do manual labor for a living when he grows up:) The chipper he wrestled with all summer was well worth the money we spent on it.
I LOVE that they figured out a way to earn ectra money so quickly. Kids are quick learners!!
HI Abbi! Boy, do I know about those tantrums. My youngest ones made my older ones looked like a walk in the park. And he’d never, ever back down – total nightmare. But at least he wants things he’s willing to work for! The oldest one just shrugs and says he doesn’t want anything that bad anymore!!!
HI Aimee, Your son sounds like he really got the whole concept of wrok! I think you are doing a wonderful job!
HI Stephanie, Yep, kids are quite amazing and adept when they figure out they want something. Starts as a toddler who can stack a million pots and boxes to reach the cookie jar – lol!
You sound as tho you are off to a great start on teaching responsibility and taking ownership! Even if there a few bumps in the road, you are teaching them early- way to go Mom!
It sounds like you’ve got an awesome idea there. Lol, maybe you’ll have to tweak it a little, but they’ll learn.:)