Some of you are going to hate me. Some will understand. But there are only so many hours in a mommy’s day, so much money in her wallet, and sometimes I admit I cut corners to stretch them both. This is my latest bit of corner cutting:
“Did you get them?” My son rummaged around in the grocery bags he’d just carried from the car for me.
“Er, I forgot,” I said guiltily, glancing at the frig whiteboard where the word VITAMINS was written in giant letters on my To-Buy list.
“Again?”
He’d given me a two week warning, reminding me almost daily that he was nearly out. Yet each time I went shopping I’d forget to buy his vitamins.
Muscle building is as serious stuff to teen boys. And this particular man-child never does anything by half-measures. At the beginning of the summer he’d set up a gym in the media room with bits and pieces of old equipment found here and there. For months he’d been religiously lifting weights, doing chin-ups on a bar he’d hung in a doorway, jogging, and using one of those rubber band stretchy things to build muscles. He’d also taken his diet seriously and been supplementing with expensive but apparently very effective vitamins for men the pharmacist at our grocery store had recommended.
The results were impressive. Over the summer he’d gone from slim and wiry to slim and WOW.
“I promise I’ll get them next time,” I said.
“I only have a few left,” he warned.
“I promise,” I said again.
And I kept that promise. Almost.
He was at school when I got home from the grocery store a few days later. Proud of myself and anticipating being a hero-mom for remembering this time I carried the muscle builder vitamins over to the cabinet where he kept them. I took out the old container and opened it.
Two lonely blue tablets rested in the bottom. I decided to save myself some shelf space and add those two to the new bottle. But after fighting my way through the packaging to unseal the new stuff I was surprised to see the new vitamins weren’t blue like the old. They were…pink?
My stomach clinched. I tilted the newly opened bottle to stare in horror at the label. Women’s Supplement. Right brand, wrong gender.
I looked at the blue vitamins. I looked at the pink. I stared at the remnants of the Fort Knox packaging I’d torn away from the EXPENSIVE new bottle rendering it unreturnable.
Again I looked at the blue bottle and at the pink. I compared the ingredients on the labels.
And then (bad mommy!) I dumped the two blue vitamins out on the counter, poured the pretty pink ones into the manly blue bottle and hid the two blue pills and pink bottle at the bottom of the kitchen trash can.
Have you ever cut corners to save time and money and ended up feeling like a bad mommy? Please share by clicking on the number near the title at the top of this post.
OY! If he starts complaining of cramps around the same time each month, you’d better mommy up and toss the girly vitamins.
I cut corners all the time when my kids were little. It’s getting harder now that they are bigger. I’d love to know if your son noticed the pink pills and questioned them or called your bluff.
Teens are fun.
LOL, Wendy. Didn’t think of that, but I’ll be sure to keep an eye open for any girlish behavior.
Hi Catherine,
He never noticed! Now if that had been my daughter, she’d have caught on immediately. But I think my son doesn’t notice things like color so much.
So my secret is safe. Unless of course he reads this…
OMG, that was priceless! I would have done the same thing – those things are crazy expensive! Now let’s see what type of bulking muscles he gains these next few months – lol! Make sure your daughter doesn’t see or she’ll say, “Why are they pink?!”
LOL. Of COURSE he wouldn’t notice they are now pink instead of blue. He’s a GUY LOL. For a long time I washed out the whole milk gallon jug and filled it with 2% milk cuz my kids refused to drink the 2%
Regina. Funny story. Knowing you as well as I do I wonder about the “what they don’t know” stuff that I dont know about.
Maybe you should be on a site entitled ‘Bad Wives.com’ so I could find out about some of those things that I don’t know about! (even though you are a good wife)
I believe that most people do cut some corners to save TIME AND MONEY, and other people don’t know about it.
Hey Aimee,
I bet they never noticed it wasn’t whole milk. lol
My daughter was sure she hated tomatos when she was little so we never told her the spaghetti sauce she loved was made from them.
Hi Steve,
As for the tricks I play on my husband…sssshhh…
okay- THAT was too funny!!
I’m more or less done with raising kids – so now it’s the rare cover up like: No sweetie the car registration never came in the mail. I can’t get away from work, you’ll have to do it yourself. So the kid waits till she’s home from college, fearing daily she’ll be stopped for an expired registration, dutifully goes and gets the sticker for her windshield – and oops – gee look what Mom found under the cake tray on the kitchen counter – well – like the pink pills what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
LOL.
As always, you’re sooo funny, Regina. But really, your son didn’t notice the different color? And there really wasn’t any difference in the contents of the two pills suppposedly for different genders? That’s just wierd.
My kids are grown, but mostly when they were young, I just said: “Sorry, we can’t afford that.” “I don’t care if everybody else has pierced their ears. You’re not until you’re 13!” (I picked odd battles. In retrospect, no make up until 13 would’ve been a better choice, but at the time, the piercings seemed important.) Ahh, the joys of motherhood. As always, a nice job, Regina. You should think of combining your posts into a book. Marsha
I’ll admit that I gave my husband a Midol once when he was complaining about a headache. We were in the car going somewhere and he had no idea what’d I’d given him. So I posted on my Facebook what I’d done and a friend commented, “Did it work?”
I commented back, “Not sure, but he quick bitchin’ about it.”
This post so reminded me of that, so I had to share it.
Sometimes a mommy has to do what a mommy has to do! No shame in your game
Those supplements are $$$ too so I don’t blame you and you did compare the ingredients. Most likely they are very similar and he will still continue to get “pumped up” like he wants.
I say good call! Nice work Bad Mommy
I can totally relate to this!
On a side note, I LOVE your blog. What an awesome idea
I’ll be back.
LOL!!! That is awesome! I hope your man-child believes you when you tell him the company must have decided that boys like pink and therefore made his vitamins pink. Then NEXT time you can tell him that other men-children complained about said pink pills so they decided to change them back! LOL. Good luck!
I’m cracking up over here! I would have done the same thing! You have to tell us if your son notices. lol
Hey, Regina,
And he didn’t notice? Oh. WOW. Thanks for the light moment. I know I can always count on it here.
I can’t think of anything similar here at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll think of you when it does happen!
Abbi
Hahahaha! I think I love you! I see that as a win/win for everyone.
This reminds me of how to get kids to eat the healthier cereals by refilling the “popular sugary” cereal box with the healthy “look alike” cereal.
So I guess it can work with vitamins too….lol
@Marsha ah, the piercing dilema. I did let my daughter get her ears pierced at 12, but she had to wait until 14 for makeup and 16 to date. No belly piercings so far, though for some reason those don’t bother me. Much. Yet.
lol, Chris. I’m guilty of a few shenanigans with my kids mail. Most of the time it’s unintentional.;)
@ Diane You slipped your husband a Midol?!! That’s hilarious. My husband would die first so maybe you’d better never tell yours. Take it to your grave. I’ve already got so much stuff I need to take to mine they may have to buy me an extra-deep plot.
P.s. love the About Me page on your website. Your life looks like a heck of a lot of fun!
Aw, thanks!
@Amanda Thanks for the vote of support. Love the cartoon on your website.
Okay, everyone drop whatever your doing (yes, even reading my blog) and rush over to Elisa’s blog (link a few comments up from here). This is hilarious! and so terrifyingly true!
@Heather Thanks for stopping by. I followed you back to your site and on from there to your guest blog post at http://www.victoriablisse.co.uk/blog/friends-friday-heather-thurmeier/
What a great link you gave for finding character names. Who knew a computer could do the work for me!
@Joanne and @Abbi,
I haven’t gotten caught. Yet. Should I be concerned about that? Should i worry about the fact my kid doesn’t notice things?
What if he comes home and doesn’t notice he’s walked into the wrong house (the neighbor’s house) until he’s in the bathroom and it’s not decorated properly. Oh, yeah, that was me!
Regina Ruth! You are way to smart and clever for your own good. I can just imagine 20 years from now…son taking care of Mom…wants to save money…who knows? Payback time!
Oh, Adele. I never thought of that. Now I’m scaaaared. What if he substitues a laxative for my Geritol?
See Granny Regina run!
Hi Grumpy Grateful Mom,
Just got back from your website. I wanna go to your house! Your kids are lucky ducks and sooo cute too. Your consistently inconsistent parenting along with living in a raspberry patch sounds like kid-heaven!
@ Optimistic Mom I’ll have to try that with the cereal boxes. Btw everytime I go to your Twitter page
@AnOptimisticMom I wanna go on vacation sooo bad. I love your wallpaper!