I took my kids to the circus.
I’m not a big circus fan, since I always wonder about the elephants and if the animals are abused or sad in the cages, but I believe a child should attend at least one circus in his or her lifetime. So, when the circus came to town, my husband and I bought tickets in an effort to delight and amaze my two sons.
Why do I never learn my lessons?
When there is something “fun” on the horizon there is always too much pressure. Too much money is spent, time is invested, and plans are made. As a mother, why have I not learned that this equals disaster when it comes to children? Children do not follow a plan, and seem to have fun when we least expect it. Even when they were babies, they’d ignore the expensive gift for the empty box.
Back to the circus.
We pumped up our boys and as soon as we entered the gate, we were met by a giant parade of blow up toys that cost a fortune. And two children who wanted one. Cha ching. Then as we waited on a long line, they catalogued each snack they had to have : hot dogs, popcorn, snowcones, and chocolate. Cha ching. As we entered the big top, they killed time while everyone found their seats by selling things. Camel rides. Photos with the elephants. Pony rides. Cha ching. And while my kids eyes popped from the overabundance of stuff (my older one especially is a shopaholic and LOVES to buy things), a clown came around selling fancy light sticks that spun around and made one dizzy. Cha ching.
We fought the good fight and came out battle worn. Then thank God the circus started. With tigers. Lots of tigers. Unfortunately, they were in the center behind a high cage, so after a few minutes spent standing on their seats and craning their heads to see, my boys got tired and gave up. Then they said they needed to go potty, and my husband and I played an important game of rock, paper, scissors. I lost. Trudged to the porta potty cursing under my breath and hoped it would get better.
Trapeze artists flew through the air. Trained puppies and sweet ponies rode around the ring. Graceful dancers held by nets and doing gymnastic tricks took our breath away. And my boys were bored by the whole damn thing except for the clowns.
They laughed and laughed at the clowns, which was too short. After an hour, they claimed intermission and the assault was back on. More camel rides, pony rides, photos with tigers and clowns, toys and snacks and lights. We took another bathroom trip and had the following conversation.
The boys: “Hooray we’re going home now!”
Me, with my head twisted around like the Exorcist. “What do you mean hooray? The circus isn’t over. There’s more.”
They groaned and whined. “We don’t want to see more. We’re bored!”
Teeth gritted I bent over to hiss in their ear and not be overheard. “You can’t be bored. We haven’t seen the elephants yet! We saw a lot of amazing stuff today and you boys are being ungrateful. Mommy and Daddy took you to the circus to have fun and this cost a lot of money and we are going back in there to have fun damnit!”
The boys: “Mommy, I thought damnit was a bad word.”
Me: “Get in the big top and I don’t want to hear another word from you!”
Fun took a hard nosedive and never recovered. The elephants bored them, but thank God a guy got shot out of a canon so that entertained them enough for the last half. As we drove home, exhausted, broke, and defeated, I asked my husband why our boys were so strange.
I ranted and raved. “I was grateful to go to a drive in movie at their age! What kid doesn’t love the frikkin circus! What more do they want from me? I’m trying to give them experiences I never had the opportunity for, and nothing impresses them. Have we spoiled them? Is there something wrong with our kids? Is there something wrong with my parenting?”
My husband shrugged and remained silent. I think he agreed because he’s a smart man, but I swear he was thinking of something else the whole ride home.
So, once again in my bad mommy moments, I ask you: Have you ever felt defeated in your pursuit of fun? Have you ever threatened your kids in places that should have been magic?
Hit the number at the top of the post and leave me a comment. Please. I need you!
Jen – loved it and yes I have experienced the same. I realized after so many years of trying to MAKE fun that fun just happens.
Love ya!
“Fun took a hard nosedive and never recovered.”
Yep, I’ve been in that plane more than a few times. Why are they never bored at the free stuff?
One summer we spent a mint to take the kids on a cruise to Mexico. Do you know what they remember about that summer? Not the cruise. They remember the night my husband hauled a tv out on the front porch and we watched a movie outside while the pizza man delivered us food and drink right there on our own front porch.
I think my son is still at a point where most things are still a surprise and fun………however, you would never know by his facial appearances. He always has that blank stare kind of look. Maybe he is just humoring us…..lol
I just laughed my head off at this post. This is a great blog!
Optimistic Mom,
I have one of those
I-can’t-always-tell-if-he’s-having-fun kids too. I think I drive him crazy asking if he’s alright and he just looks at me and says he’s having a great time. I also wonder if he really thinks we’re the most boring family on the planet and is just enduring us.
Hi Jen!
I’m sorry you had a rough time, but it made for a most enjoyable read!!! It’s taken me years to learn my kids are not me and what makes me happy doesn’t make them happy and what I think is fun they don’t necessarily think is fun. But I’m with you….who doesn’t like the circus? I blame video games!!!!!
HI Optimistic Mom! Ah yes, the boy with little expression. That was my son at 2-4 and then he began having more reactions. Unfortunately, they centered around things that he wanted! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Hi Regina! That plane has taken many, many trips, hasn’t it! And we just keep asking the pilot to keep taking off!
Hi Jen. I can totally relate. I brought my son to see The Christmas Show at Radio City Music Hall and for the first three bits he was dazzled, amazed, and completely enthralled. Yay!
Then came squirmy, fidgety, and did I mention he doesn’t know how to whisper? I do beleive he thought intermission was the end too.
During the Nativity scene he stood, one hand on seat twisting around, bending backwards and asks for eveyone in our section to hear in a whiny voice, “Can we go home yet?”
We spent the remainder of the show outside the doors waiting for the rest of our group.
So yes, I know!
Hi Tara,
Glad you got the first half of the show at least.
It is so frustrating when that happens, especially when you were looking forward to seeing the show.
Oh, boy, that’s a hard one because those tickets are SO expensive! At least we are trying to force some culture on them but it’s exhausting some times. Thanks for stopping by Taryn!
Aww, thanks Shawna! Love when you stop by – I am beginning to learn that lesson too! Some of the last minute stuff ends up being the most fun with kids. Love ya right back!
Rebecca!!!!!!! I had the most fun with you and am so happy you found our blog. Very glad you could get a laugh – you know how important humor is when you’re a mom! Can’t wait to see you again but make sure you come back and visit us!!!
Thank you for this start-of-summer reminder – I love the metaphor of you taking them to the “circus” but really, bringing your own form of Mom’s circus entertainment to it! I do this all the time. There’s a lot to be said for downtime & just letting ‘em play in the mud at home w. muckballs. I absolutely get so annoyed when I take them someplace “big” like the circus and it all goes to shit, which it frequently does! Thanks for this post. (-;
Hi Ado! Yes, you are so right and I have begun planning more play dates with other kids to just play in the backyard or go to the local pool. Cheap, local and fun! Thanks for stopping by – always a pleasure to see you here!
From my experience: relax. Like you said in the beginning, too much pressure means no fun for anyone. The kids will find fun if you let them, which means letting go of what you expect them to like. Of course, they’ll want the toys and balloons and lights. The circus pinpoints the things that kids love and they charge extra. But kids can also find less expensive fun in the oddest places if you show them what’s out there and see what catches their attention.
And don’t be afraid to cut the day short! I actually don’t like going to the local water park with my family because it’s too much in one day. First we drive an hour and a half, sit in traffic, then wander around in the hot sun trying to decide which ride to go on, then we stand in line for an hour or more (in the hot sun), and my parents feel obligated to “get the most out of the visit” (because the tickets were expensive) by staying until dinner time (in the hot sun. Have I mentioned the hot sun?). The result? One tired and grumpy family. Staying for only a few hours may feel like a waste of money, but if it means leaving happy, it’s worth it.
Hi Jennifer!
A great, fun post but so true!
HI Nas – Thanks for checking it out – I think most mommies so far have agreed with me!
HI Katie! Thrilled to see you stopped by – and you are dead on correct. As for the hot sun…I have been there too and half the day is spent arguing who wants to go on what! I am always brought back to your advice – just let it flow and make no plans. A simple kiddie pool in the backyard is just as fun sometimes for my children – and did I mention cheap? Love your website.
Then, of course, there’s always the eyes rolling followed by “LAME!” when you plan a ‘fun’ outing.